Mental Health Journal #1: Boundaries


My desire to please people has always been powerful. I used to say "yes" to everything as it's an easy way to belong or be likable. But it often led to resentment, anger, and burnout because I made my decisions based on what's best for others instead of what's best for me. Placing healthy boundaries allowed me to reinforce my individuality and define areas that genuinely mattered to me. It afforded me the personal and emotional space I needed to learn about myself without anchoring myself in the opinion of others.

It's scary to set boundaries especially for me who constantly worries about being questioned about them. But I always have to remember that no one will respect my boundaries if I don't respect them myself. The more confident I am at enforcing my boundaries, the easier it became to place them and people became more accepting towards them. They didn't always agree but that's not the point. The important part is that they respect it. My boundaries are about my sense of self after all and not about their opinion.

Aside from cultivating self-honesty, having healthy boundaries also informed me about who I can have healthy relationships with. On one hand, I've learned that the people who refuse to honor my boundaries prioritize their opinion more than my comfort. I've learned to stop accommodating people who wouldn't even meet me half-way. On the other, it made me more appreciative of the people who understands how important my boundaries are to me and honor them even if they don't agree. I'm fortunate to say that at this point in my life, I have more of the latter.